the red pill
there’s a line between can’t and won’t.
can’t implies some true impediment, a valid external prohibitive factor. won’t simply suggests the lack of desire or motivation – the prohibitive factor is internal.
people say can’t when they really mean won’t.
there are some true can’ts. it’s not that i won’t become a professional basketball player, it’s that i’m 40, 5’5″ and entirely uncoordinated. i could spend the foreseeable future working hard to try to do this, but in reality it would never happen. i can’t.
more often – most often – can’t has no basis in reality. can’t is overused and overrated. can’t is a cop-out. can’t is an illusion waiting to be shattered.
when i tell people i’ve completed an ironman – and that i’m doing another in a few months – most tell me that they could never do something that. “i can’t” they say. why yes. yes you can. 80 year olds do. people with prosthetic limbs, people who are legally blind, people with true medical limitations do. old, young, fat, skinny, tall, short. they all do. they all go out there and show that they can.
can’t has no place in that discussion. you can. it’s just that you won’t. maybe you don’t want to, maybe you lack the desire – and that’s fine. i’m not here to judge your choice not to spend your free time swimming, biking and running. i mean, i could take up knitting but i have no desire to do spend my free time doing that (no offense to the knitters of the world).
but where the can’t/won’t line is drawn from there gets a bit hazy. i can finish an ironman – i can’t win one. i can’t be a professional triathlete. but what can i do? what more am i capable of? where is the line?
i often lament my running. i’m really quite slow. i should be faster. i’m not carrying extra weight, i don’t have any pesky injuries or medical conditions that might be a valid detriment to running speed. and yet – i’m an 8:30 runner. in a 5k, not in a marathon. and i wonder how much faster i can be. i’m not going to be running 6-minute pace, i can live with that. but how close can i get? conceptually, i know what i need to work on. i could use some more power, i know my leg turnover is slow. and oh, yeah, track or intervals would be a good idea.
and i want to push that envelope. i want to shatter that illusion bit by bit. knock it back. even just a little.
just because i can.
this isn’t just some rambling dialogue on triathlon and running. everyone has an illusory can’t or two or ten. personally, professionally, athletically. it’s easy to slip into the can’t. it’s easy to get complacent and accept without question, without recognizing that you’re saying you can’t when you really mean you won’t.
it’s easy to accept the illusion as real. it’s safe to stop wondering what might happen if you tried to do something you thought you couldn’t do. there is comfort to sticking with what you know.
but it’s stifling, stagnant. it’s existing without living. there is so much more to see and do.
reach for the red pill. push the envelope. shatter the illusion, bit by bit. you’ll be glad you did.
just because you can.
Great post. You beat me to the topic. I always try to look at things in terms of their cost and my ability or willingness to pay that. It pisses me off when people tell me to be realistic about what I can and can’t do. Tell me the cost (sacrifice, time, pain, money, whatever) that it will take for me to go from here to there and I will decide if I am willing to pay that price.
Lora said this on January 7, 2012 at 12:05 pm |
Thanks, Lora … and people who say “be realistic” just don’t get it. It is a matter of being realistic – about capabilities and not impediments (or perceived impediments). I think people just don’t understand what we get out of it, the reward that makes the sacrifices worthwhile.
debs said this on January 7, 2012 at 6:14 pm |